


The Trick is to Keep Breathing

by auroradawn9669



Series: Cry Little Sister [5]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Barebacking, Blood As Lube, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Discussion of Abortion, Domestic Violence, Extremely Toxic Masculinity, F/M, Forced Orgasm, Homophobia, Humiliation, Hurt Max, Intimidation, Lucas is a great boyfriend, Misogyny, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, Painful Sex, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Possessive Billy Hargrove, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Racism, Rape/Non-con Elements, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Abuse, Sibling Abuse, Steb-sibling incest, Vaginal Fingering, Verbal Abuse, anal rape, non-consensual whipping, power and control, rape as punishment, vaginal rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 11:07:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14400879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auroradawn9669/pseuds/auroradawn9669
Summary: “I think my parents are going to get divorced,” he blurted out.Max turned her head to look at him, only caught off guard by the way he’d blurted it out. She knew his parents fought a lot. That was on a good day when Karen could get Ted Wheeler to react to something. “I’m sorry,” she said sincerely.“I’m not.” Mike looked away. “My dad’s a jerk. She deserves better.”She thought Karen could do better, too, but she also knew she could do a lotworse.If you asked her, marriage was seriously overrated.





	The Trick is to Keep Breathing

**Author's Note:**

> This took a bit longer than expected and I'm still not super happy with a couple of the scenes with the kids but here it is. Very dark content in parts of this. Please read the tags and keep yourselves safe.

March swept into Hawkins with gusty breezes but more sunshine than she’d seen in weeks and while it wasn’t _California,_ Max wasn’t going to take that gift from Mother Nature for granted. The first Saturday of the month, Max was up and out of her house, wearing jeans and a hoodie because Billy didn’t _force_ her to wear stupid skirts or dresses if she didn’t have school. She skated down the road, not looking back at her house as she rode away from it as quickly as the wheels on her board would take her.

She managed to make it all the way to Lucas’ house before remembering that _right_ , he wasn’t home today. His family was spending the weekend at a relative’s in Chicago. Her shoulders dropped and she heaved a sigh, stepping off her board and contemplating climbing in through his window anyway just to catch up on some much needed sleep. The closer it got to Billy’s graduation, the more he and Neil were getting into it at all hours of the day and night. 

Part of her wondered, distantly, why Billy didn’t use the gun against his dad. She felt guilty anytime the thought popped into her head, but she also had to admit she wouldn’t be that sad if he _did_ kill Neil. Neil didn’t talk to her much, and that was fine with her. She did her best to steer clear, to keep her head low and not attract his attention. It was easier to deal with Neil Hargrove than it was with Billy. She also knew Neil Hargrove was a terrible person who deserved any and all bad things that came his way. Maybe if he hadn’t been such an abusive bastard to his son, his son wouldn’t have turned into what he had.

She kicked at a rock on the sidewalk, staring up at the Sinclair home wistfully and jumping when she heard a familiar voice a few feet away. 

“He’s out of town, remember?” 

She turned to see Mike standing in the yard next door, eyebrows arched as he looked back at her. “Yeah, I do _now_.” She eyed him warily, wondering why he was up so early today. 

“My parents are making me spend the day cleaning out the garage.” Mike rolled his eyes. 

Max’s gaze flickered from him to the garage stuffed full of years worth of what she assumed were science fair projects, trophies, old clothes, toys, and momentos. “Want some help?” 

He blinked a couple times. “You want to help me clean out the garage?” There was skepticism in his voice.

She gave him a shrug. “Not doing anything else today.” Besides, it would keep her away from her own house for a few hours. 

He seemed to consider that for a moment, then shrugged. “If you really want to, sure. It’ll take awhile though,” he warned. 

Good, she thought, stepping back onto her board and skating over into his driveway. That was exactly what she wanted. A project big enough she could throw herself into physically and not have to think. So what if it was helping Mike clean out old junk from his garage? 

***

Cleaning the garage went surprisingly well. She and Mike worked side-by-side, mostly in companionable silence. When one of them spoke it was usually her asking what pile he wanted something to go in. They cleared it out almost entirely, setting things into three piles: donate, garbage, and keep. It took hours and her muscles ached from moving things around, but she didn’t complain. 

“I need to sleep for like a year,” Mike grumbled as he sat down on the porch stoop late that afternoon. They were both sweaty and gross from the work and Max huffed out a quiet laugh as she sat down beside him, a couple feet of space between them. 

“Your parents kept a lot of stuff.” 

“My mom, mostly,” he admitted with a shrug. “She’s sentimental.” He glanced at her sideways. “Does your mom not hoard all your old stuff?” 

“Most of my old stuff’s back in California,” she told him with a shrug. She didn’t really care. It wasn’t like she needed any of it. “We didn’t bring a lot of stuff when we moved so it’s at my dad’s.” 

Mike was silent for a moment. “Is it still weird for you?” 

“What?” She glanced at him. 

He hesitated. “That your dad’s so far away.” 

Max’s chest tightened at the question, and a year ago she probably would have snapped his head off for asking. But he seemed to be looking for some kind of answer here and she wasn’t sure what it was, or why he was asking. “Yeah. It’s still weird.” She looked down at her shoes, pressing her lips together. “My dad and I were a lot closer than I was with my mom but by default mom’s get custody rights in California most of the time so…” She shrugged. 

“Do you talk to him much?” Mike’s voice was quieter now. 

“Not as much as I’d like.” But at this point it didn’t really matter. There was too much she couldn’t tell him about her life. He’d just be another person she had to keep secrets from. 

“I think my parents are going to get divorced,” he blurted out.  
Max turned her head to look at him, only caught off guard by the way he’d blurted it out. She knew his parents fought a lot. That was on a good day when Karen could get Ted Wheeler to react to something. “I’m sorry,” she said sincerely. 

“I’m not.” Mike looked away. “My dad’s a jerk. She deserves better.” 

She thought Karen could do better, too, but she also knew she could do a lot _worse._ If you asked her, marriage was seriously overrated. 

He elbowed her lightly in the arm. “Thanks for all the help today. It went a lot faster with your help than it would have on my own.” 

“Sorry you got stuck with me instead of Jane. She could’ve had the whole place done by herself in like, half an hour,” she joked. 

He studied her for a moment, expression contemplative. “She likes you, you know.” 

Both of her eyebrows rose at that. “Uh huh. I like my skateboard being broken in half, too,” she informed him with an eye roll. 

“She does,” he insisted, turning more toward her. “She just...doesn’t know how to talk to you.” 

“Because I’m so intimidating.” She scoffed. 

“You push people away,” Mike said matter-of-factly. 

All the air left her lungs at that. Well. He had her there. But it wasn’t like she had a _choice._ It didn’t matter at this point whether Jane liked her or not, or whether she wanted to be her friend. She was struggling to hold onto the couple of friends she already had. It was growing increasingly difficult with Billy being more and more reluctant to let her spend any time with them outside of school. She didn’t really know how to respond to his bluntness, although it does momentarily make her wonder if this is the reason she and Mike have never been close friends. They’re too much alike in some ways. 

“Some of us don’t always have a choice,” she finally said, voice even despite feeling like she could be unraveled so, so easily right then. 

“Your family sucks,” he agreed and a short laugh escaped her at the unexpected reply. 

“Yeah.” He had no idea. None of them did. Not even Lucas. She fully intended to keep it that way. 

Mike gave her a tiny smile. “Wanna stay for dinner? Mom’s making spaghetti and meatballs.” 

It hadn’t even occurred to her that they hadn’t stopped for lunch, and now at the mention of food, her stomach growled hungrily, answering for her. Mike’s mom was an amazing cook. “Yeah, if you’re sure your family’s okay with it.” 

He rolled his eyes and rose to his feet, holding his hand out to her. “Come on, Mayfield. Let’s get cleaned up and set the table.” 

Her lips twitched upwards into a smile at that, and she slid her hand into his, letting him help her up. They’d come a long, long way. 

***

Max always felt just a little bit out of place at the Wheeler’s house anytime it was just her. Which admittedly, was rare, but had happened on occasion over the last year and a half. Tonight was no exception as she sat at the table beside Mike and across from Nancy, Mike’s dad at the far end of the table and his mom on her other side, with Holly wedged into a high chair between Karen and Nancy. 

“Max, it’s been so nice having you today. We hadn’t seen you in awhile,” Karen commented as she cut through her spaghetti. 

It was fascinating watching her cut up the spaghetti noodles in smaller bites, something she’d never really considered. “Thanks. Things have been kind of busy,” she said, keeping it as vague as possible as she attempted to imitate how the older woman was cutting her spaghetti. She ignored the weird look Mike gave her. 

“Are you staying tonight?” Nancy gave her a small smile. 

“Oh. No.” She shook her head. Christ. If she spent a night away from home without Billy’s approval, she really didn’t want to think about what he’d do to her as punishment. “I’ve got a lot of homework I need to start on tonight.” 

The conversation soon drifted toward how everyone’s day was, with Mike grumbling about how he’d been forced to spend it cleaning out a ton of old _junk_ in the garage and Max keeping carefully nonchalant about all of it. She didn’t like having to deal with her own family’s drama, let alone getting caught up in Mike’s. 

“Well. _I_ drove to Indianapolis today with Holly. We were stuck in traffic for nearly two hours because of an anti-abortion protest.” She shook her head. “I would have joined them if it wasn’t for being on a schedule.” 

Max sneaked a glance at Mike to see his reaction, but he seemed as uninterested in the topic as he was in most conversations with his family. 

“Well, I wouldn’t have,” Nancy stated, sitting up a little straighter in her chair. 

“ _Nancy._ ” Karen Wheeler looked aghast at the implication. 

“I’m sorry, but if a woman doesn’t want to have a baby, then she shouldn’t be forced to just because society tells her it’s the right thing to do,” she insisted. 

“If a woman doesn’t want to have a baby, she should keep her legs closed,” Ted spoke up, stabbing a meatball with his fork so hard that Max flinched involuntarily. 

“That’s easy for a _man_ to say when he can walk away with no consequences,” Nancy responded evenly. “Besides, what about cases of rape? Incest? Should _those_ women who didn’t _choose_ to spread their legs be forced to carry an unwanted child so she’s reminded of what happened to her every day for nine months plus?” 

Max suddenly lost her appetite, pushing the food around on her plate without daring to look up at any of them. 

“That’s not that baby’s fault,” Karen said quietly. 

Nancy rolled her eyes. “So you’re really okay with giving more rights to a fetus than the woman carrying it?” The disgust in her voice was clear.

“It’s legalized _murder,_ ” Ted stated, frowning deeply. 

“They legalized it partially because women were _dying_ in back alleys because they were desperate not to be pregnant,” Nancy responded. “Is that any better?” 

There was a heavy silence at the table. 

“Perhaps those women should have just owned up to their mistakes,” Mike’s dad said after a long moment. “And dealt with the consequences of promiscuous sex.” 

“That’s a disgusting thing to say. I can’t believe I’m related to this family,” Nancy said, setting her fork down none-too-gently. 

“This was probably a bad topic for dinner conversation,” Karen said with a sigh, sitting back in her chair and looking at Max apologetically. 

She smiled, but it was faint and tense. She was suddenly looking forward to getting out of the Wheeler household.

***

When she got home that evening, the house was dark and empty. Relief filled her. She assumed her mom and stepdad had gone off on one of their dates and that Billy was at some party. She took a long, hot shower, letting the water soothe away some of her muscle aches from working all day, letting it wash away the dirt and grime and sweat. 

She pulled on a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, dried her hair because it was too chilly in the house not to, and crawled into bed by 8 PM, exhausted. 

She was out cold in minutes. 

***

Billy’d had a shitty day.

That tended to happen on days he had to spend much time around his dad, and the bruise on his jaw was proof. It had been made worse by the fact that Max had taken off early in the morning - probably to go spend the day with _Lucas_ \- and still hadn’t returned by the time he’d left for the party at Carol’s house. The party itself had been fine, but his own discontent and anger had been simmering just beneath the surface all day and the two beers he’d drank hadn’t done much to soothe it any.

The party had broken up shortly after Midnight, when Carol and Tommy had gotten into a screaming argument - about what he didn’t know, and didn’t really care. He wasn’t really ready to head home, but he supposed he could at least see if his cunt of a stepsister had made it back and assess how much shit he’d be dealing with tomorrow if she _hadn’t_. At least his dick dad and bitch stepmom had taken off on one of their couple’s excursions. Hopefully it would give him time to track Max’s ass down if she wasn’t back yet. 

He shrugged out of his leather jacket, tossing it on the couch as he made his way into the dark house, not bothering to turn on any of the lights. He pushed open the door to Max’s room, narrowing his eyes at the sight of her peaceful expression as she lie in bed, covers pulled up her to her chin. There was just enough light streaming through the window from the streetlamp outside to illuminate her features and his hands tightened into fists. 

Why the hell did she always get off so goddamn easy? His father never put his hands on her, never yelled at her. The little bitch never got into any trouble with her mom. They let her do whatever the hell she wanted and the only one who was trying to instill any form of discipline, of responsibility into her was _him._ And here she was, tucked into bed without a fucking care in the world and Billy couldn’t remember the last time he’d even _had_ a decent night’s sleep. 

Stupid bitch.

Well, he’d show her. Time for another lesson.

He shut and locked her door, yanking his lighter and cigarettes out of his pocket and setting them on her nightstand, then stepping out of his boots and unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, sliding them off and tugging his t-shirt up and off, letting them pool on her carpet. He moved over to her bedside, reaching down and tugging the covers back and away from her, simply staring down at her for a moment and then carefully pulling her sleep pants down and off. He watched her face but she showed no signs of waking yet. 

Good. He didn’t want her to have any warning this time.

He tugged her green cotton panties down and off, flinging them onto the floor with his own pile of clothes, and then he knelt on the bed, slowly easing her legs apart and moving between them. He spit on his hand and rubbed it over his cock, staring down at her as he pumped his hand over himself several times until he reached full hardness. He knew he should eat her out or at least finger her a little, prepare her body to take him the way he usually did. But he didn’t feel like being nice tonight. She didn’t deserve it. Let her bleed, he thought.

Instead, he lifted her legs up, sliding them up and over his shoulders, watching her eyebrows furrow at the movement. He stayed still for a long moment, wanting to be inside her before she woke. When she settled once more, he shifted closer, using one hand to guide his dick to her entrance. He pressed inside her with just the tip, then eased his body over hers so he was staring right into her face. 

Then Billy reached up, gripping onto her legs tightly so she’d be unable to pull them away as he eased into her dry cunt further, forcing her inner walls to spread and stretch quickly, to take him completely unprepared. Fuck, she was always so goddamn tight. Even when he _did_ prep her, she strained to take him all the way. She managed because he forced her in a way he never did with other bitches, but her body still tried to resist. 

He watched her face as she winced, shifting in her slumber but it wasn’t until he pulled back a couple inches and then rammed forward again that she woke. A pained cry escaped her as her eyes flew open and she stared up at him, surprise registering on her face. He hadn’t woken her up like this in awhile. He sank farther into her, keeping his gaze locked on hers, fingernails digging into her thighs none-too-gently. 

“The fuck were you all day?” he growled. 

She arched her back to try and relieve some of the pressure in her body even as she winced again, her fingers sinking into the mattress on either side of her. “The Wheeler’s house,” she whimpered. “I helped clean out the garage.” 

The Wheeler’s house. He thought momentarily of Karen Wheeler, smirk flitting over his face at the memory of the last time he’d seen her. They’d fucked in his camaro just a week ago when he caught her off guard outside the grocery store in the evening. She’d tried to protest, but convincing her to spread her legs for him again hadn’t taken much effort at all. It never did. It rarely took much to convince _any_ woman to let him stick his dick in them.

“Yeah? That’s what you’re going with?” He thrust into her a little deeper, enjoying the sight of the tears that sprang to her eyes as the head of his cock bumped up against her cervix. She shut her eyes tightly, biting down hard on her lower lip to try and stop herself from crying out. At least he’d taught her how to be mostly silent by now. His grip tightened on her thighs as he leaned into her, letting his weight do some of the work for him and forcing the rest of his thick length inside her tight passage.

“I swear, Billy,” she whispered, fingers curled hard into the sheet beneath her. 

“Pull your shirt up,” he ordered, keeping still for the time being and just enjoying the squeeze of her cunt around him. Max obeyed with shaky hands, tugging the hem of her sleep shirt up until it was high enough that he could see her tits. 

“Pinch your nipples,” Billy told her, rotating his hips against hers and then easing out of her just a little. He almost smirked at the shock that flickered over her face before she hesitantly reached up and cupped her tits in both hands. He thrust back into her again, revelling in the way her eyes screwed shut and she bit harder on her lip as he battered her delicate insides. Shit, he was just getting started on her. “Come on, twist them,” he barked at her as her thumbs just brushed lightly over the tips. 

Reluctantly, she began to tug and pull at them. “ _Harder_ , Max.” He pulled most of the way out of her and then pushed in as hard and as far as he could go. His actions caused her to tighten her fingers around the sensitive buds and he chuckled as he watched her abuse her own body. 

“Was your boyfriend there today?” he demanded, pumping his hips back and forth just a little so that the head of his cock hammered repeatedly against her tender cervix. It must have been a painful sensation if the tears glistening in her eyes and trickling down her cheeks were anything to go by. Good. He repeated the actions, watching her pinch and twist her nipples. He licked his lips, leaning down and pressing his mouth against her collarbone, sucking hard against her skin and then pulling away to admire the red mark. 

“No,” she whispered. “He’s out of town with his family.” 

He batted one of her hands away and reached down, rolling her right nipple between his fingers. “You lying to me?” His fingers tightened around the peaked bud and he tugged on it hard, making her arch her back again. It would be easy enough to find out if that was the truth, and if she was lying...well. He’d have a good time punishing her for that. He kind of hoped she was lying to him.

“No! I swear!” 

Billy leaned down and sucked the nipple into his mouth as he thrust into her again. He bit down on the peak lightly and then pulled off her with a wet popping sound that made him smirk. “Okay. I believe you.” He considered for a moment. “Rub your clit. Get yourself nice and wet for me.” Her face flushed red and her gaze dropped instantly even as she slowly slid a hand down her body, tip of her index finger seeking. He reached between them, tugging her hand forward and guiding it to the top of her folds. “There.” 

He licked his lips as he watched her fingers slowly circle around her clitoris, grinning as it began to swell beneath her ministrations. “Yeah there we go. Keep it up.” He pulled out of her almost all the way before pounding back in. Within a few moments, he noticed that his thrusts were beginning to get easier as her body started responding to him the way it always eventually did. His cock was soaked. 

“Fuck. You’re practically _dripping_ , Max,” he muttered, pressing a kiss to her earlobe as she shuddered beneath him. “You act like you don’t enjoy this but you always get off, don’t you? Such a slut for my cock.” He scraped his teeth over her earlobe as his hips continued pressing into hers. 

He pulled back to look at her, enjoying the shame he saw in her eyes. “Yeah. You’re so wet I could probably get my whole fist up inside you.” He laughed at the frightened look on her face. “Not today though.” Billy paused, considering, and then pulled out of her entirely. He shoved her legs off his shoulders, and then gripped onto her hips, flipping her over even as she whimpered in protest. He knew she _hated_ this position. Probably because it enabled him to get even deeper inside her this way.

“You know, I don’t remember giving you permission to take off and be gone all fucking day.” Billy spread her legs, shoving them apart with his hands and entering her from behind, not taking his time as he hilted inside of her entirely with one hard thrust that made a gasp escape her lips. He groaned as he bottomed out inside her, then pulled back quickly and did it again, harder this time as she struggled not to cry out. He watched the way her fingers dug into the bedding, knuckles going white as she clenched her hands involuntarily. 

When she didn’t say anything, Billy slapped her ass with the palm of his hand which made her tighten around him even more and he groaned. “Fuck.” He brought his hand down against her skin again and again as he rode her hard, her entire ass turning bright red as he felt his balls beginning to tighten. He grew still inside of her, then pulled out slowly, not ready to end this just yet. His length throbbed almost painfully but he rocked back on his heels for the time being, staring at her ass intently. It could be redder, he thought. 

“Stay down,” he ordered as he climbed off the bed, reaching down and grabbing his belt, ripping it from the loops on his jeans. He doubled it in half, pressing one hand between her shoulder blades to keep her from struggling as he slammed the leather against her ass repeatedly and methodically, knowing she was approaching her breaking point, her tolerance level for pain. She wasn’t going to be able to stay silent much longer. Her legs kicked involuntarily the longer and harder he beat her ass, fingers clutching even harder against the mattress as she cried, quiet gasping sobs escaping her. 

Finally he dropped the belt, reaching out and putting his hands on her ass. The heat coming off it was fucking incredible and she wept as he dragged his short nails down the bruised skin. He situated himself on the bed between her legs once more, thrusting into her wet cunt a couple of times as she trembled beneath him. He kept his hands pressed hard against her ass because the warmth from her skin felt good beneath his palms. He gazed down at her for a moment, squeezing her asscheeks and then pulling them apart as she whimpered. He stared intently at the tiny, untouched hole. 

“You know, Max, I really can’t let you get by with taking off like that without my permission. Not without punishment,” he murmured, thinking.

Their parents wouldn’t be back until tomorrow night at the earliest. Maybe not til Monday. Mind made up, Billy spat on her ass, letting the saliva trail down her crack before sucking a finger into his mouth and immediately prodding at the tiny furled pucker. She flailed beneath him, trying to get her arms beneath her to get up. He reached out with his free hand and grabbed her hair, yanking her head back.

“You should relax and this’ll go a lot easier on you,” he told her, voice harsh as he shoved her head away once more.

He wormed his index finger into her back entrance, her hips bucking against him of their own accord, a weak attempt at dislodging the digit. He pressed harder, swearing under his breath. Fuck. He knew it’d be tight back there, but it was more like an actual _vice._ He let go of her hair and used his hands to spread her cheeks farther apart before attempting to wiggle his middle finger in beside the other. She thrashed beneath him, crying out against the intrusion.

“Billy, Billy, no!” she wailed.

Billy reached up and punched her in the back of the head, enough to daze her even though it didn’t knock her out. He glared down at her as he forced her open with his thick fingers, stretching her back passage and then pulling his digits out and spitting into her hole again. He eased his hard cock out of her cunt and pressed against the tiny opening, watching in fascination as it resisted against his assault. He pried her asscheeks apart none-too-gently, forcing the hole open a little wider and at the same time, pressing inward more insistently. For several long moments her passage resisted him as she hyperventilated beneath his weight, but her body would have to be the one to give and finally it did.

A scream ripped from Max’s throat as the head of his dick broke past the external ring of muscle with an audible _pop._ He gritted his teeth as he bore down, his cock slowly inching farther inside her taut back passage. She screamed again, struggling underneath him violently even as he felt a sticky, wet substance on his cock that helped ease his path until he was all the way inside her, balls pressed tight against her ass. “Holy fuck.” He knew he’d torn her, though he doubted it was that bad. He hadn’t been _that_ rough with his entry. His cock had been plenty lubricated from her wet cunt. Still, she was sobbing quietly beneath him and her body had gone limp, like she’d given up. 

Good.

He stroked a hand down her bare back. “Your ass is mine now, little sister,” he told her, rubbing a finger around her rim, fascinated by how red and puffy it was already, stretched out around his thick cock. 

Being inside her ass was incredible. The heat from her skin warmed his balls as he let her rest for a moment, just enjoying the snug squeeze around his length as she panted for breath beneath him. He reached out and grabbed his cigarettes and lighter off the nightstand, yanking one out of the pack and popping it into his mouth before lighting it up. This was such a good fuck he didn’t want to wait to smoke til he was done. He blew the smoke toward her face before reaching out and pressing his hands hard against her lower back for leverage, beginning to rock in and out of her, the friction causing sparks of pleasure to tingle up and down his back even as she moaned. 

He surged into her harder, loving the gasps and cries that emitted from her throat against her will because he _knew_ she was trying to stay quiet. Knew she’d be punished for the noise later. He was enjoying her body so much at the moment he actually considered letting her off the hook for it just this once. Maybe. He pulled out, looking down at his blood-slickened cock and thrusting back into her, amazed at the size difference as he watched himself move, feeling his balls tighten. For a moment, he contemplated where he wanted to be when he came inside her.

Finally he clenched his jaw, withdrawing from her ass and thrusting all the way into her cunt. He slid his hand between them, flicking at her clit with his fingers even as he took a long drag off his cigarette, pulling it out of his mouth as she tightened around his prick, her cunt beginning to spasm as he casually pressed the tip of his lit cigarette against her lower back. 

It took a moment for her to register the sensation. When it did, all of her muscles seized up and she screamed as she came hard around him, the pain-pleasure sensation making her inner walls clench around him more tightly than usual as he fucked her through it, his own orgasm crashing over him as he buried himself deep inside her, head nudged up snugly against her bruised cervix as he came and came and _came_. He ground against her, imagining her belly swelling with his seed. Wondering what she’d come up with to tell their parents because she certainly wouldn’t tell them _he_ knocked her up. Fuck. 

She wept beneath him even as he began to soften inside her and he took another drag off his cigarette, rocking in and out of her in circular motions as he let the ash flicker down onto her skin. 

Shit. Why had he waited so long to pop her last cherry? he wondered as he covered her body with his own, draped over her heavily so he could rest for a few moments. It wouldn’t be long before he was ready to go again. For now, she could just be his personal cockwarmer. 

***

If she’d been sore from working in the Wheeler’s garage, it was nothing compared to the pain she felt as Billy finally left her bed hours later. She felt weak, ill. Her ass hurt in a way it never had before, even though the pain between her legs and in her belly was sickeningly familiar. The burn marks from his cigarettes stung but they were more of a distant kind of pain. Max wanted to get up, to shower and wash his cum out of her and off of her, to wash away the blood leaking from both her ass and vagina, but she couldn’t get her legs to cooperate in order to get out of bed and stumble to the shower. 

After he’d fucked her the first time, it hadn’t taken him long to recover and he’d started all over again, though that time he’d cum inside her ass, forcing her into her own orgasm with four fingers curled deep inside her, stretching her wide. Her skin was sticky and slippery with fluids - some his and some her own. The final time he’d fucked her, he’d made her clean his dick off with her tongue and then he’d ejaculated on her breasts, making her feel even more disgusting and dirty then she already had. 

As she lie in bed shivering violently, not for the first time in the last few months, Max wished she was dead. 

Eventually she managed to get up and shower, to scrub her body as clean as she could beneath the steaming hot water and the soap, even if showering never made her feel clean anymore on anything except a surface level. Billy kept to himself the rest of the day and her mom and Neil didn’t return until later that night. By the time they got back, she’d managed to swallow down enough pain pills that she could at least walk normally again.

They never suspected a thing.

***

The beginning of spring a couple weeks later brought with it a carnival that was apparently a tradition for Hawkins, Indiana, that dated back to the early 1900’s. It was still chilly out, but getting warmer each day and the whole school was abuzz with talk of the carnival and the weekend ahead. 

Max was overall apathetic to the excitement. Her stomach had been hurting for the last few days, and she was trying her best to ignore it. Mrs. Allen pulling her aside after AP Bio that morning did nothing to help her feel better, but somehow she wasn’t expecting the news that she was barely pulling a D+ in the class. 

“You’ve always struggled in this class, but lately your grades seem to have taken a nosedive, Max. Is everything all right?” The older woman asked, Max’s gaze locking on her graying hair. Somehow it had seemed blonder at the start of school. 

“Everything’s fine,” she answered. “Science isn’t my best subject.” It was true enough, even if the real reason she was dangerously close to failing was more because between Billy always occupying her time until her mom and stepdad got home at night and struggling to get all her _other_ homework done, she hadn’t had much time to concentrate on a class she didn’t like to begin with.

Mrs. Allen studied her intently. “If you’re struggling, we could look into getting you some tutoring.” 

“My family can’t afford a tutor,” she responded with a shrug. 

“What about one of your friends? Lucas Sinclair or Mike Wheeler? They both excel at AP Bio,” she told Max, like it was fucking news to her. It wasn’t. Out of all of the people she was friends with, Max knew she was the one lacking on science knowledge. Except for maybe Jane, but at least Jane had a good reason for it.

“Sure. I’ll talk to them.” She wouldn’t. She didn’t care, but she at least had to pretend she cared so as not to rouse her suspicions.

“Good. I’d hate for you to be held back,” Mrs. Allen said seriously. 

Yeah. Because that was the worst of her fucking problems, Max thought bitterly before nodding her agreement and heading away. 

***

“So the carnival. We’re doing this, right?” Dustin looked around at all of them with a grin as he took a bite of his PBJ that afternoon at lunch. They were all sitting outside, the first time they’d been able to do so in months, and somehow just feeling the sun on her skin made Max feel the tiniest bit better. She could close her eyes and pretend she was in California, away from her shitty life.

“Duh. Like there’s another option?” Mike raised his eyebrows, sliding his grapes over toward Jane so she could share them. She smiled at him gratefully and popped one into her mouth. 

“Yeah, sounds good to me,” Will agreed with a grin and a nod, looking over at her and Lucas, who sat side by side, as usual, fingers laced together beneath the table unbeknownst to anyone else. 

“What do you say? Wanna go ride some rides and kick all our asses at all the carnival games?” Lucas asked with an easy smile that made her chest tighten. 

“Wait, carnival games aren’t video games. There’s no way of knowing if she’ll be able to kick all our asses,” Mike protested. 

Dustin rolled his eyes. “Give it up, Mike. She’s Mad Max. She’ll kick all our asses,” he said cheerfully even as Mike gave him a sour look.

“I’ll have to talk to my mom and stepdad. I don’t know if they have plans for the weekend or not,” she told her friends, grip tightening a little on Lucas’ hand. 

“Ugh. Your family is ruining our lives,” Dustin complained. “I’ll literally come over and tell them that if you want.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure that would go over really well,” she responded wryly.

“Hey it could help. You never know.” Everyone at the table rolled their eyes, Jane included. Max almost smiled at the sight, glad the other girl was starting to display subtle signs of attitude that weren’t just limited to _solemn_ or pissy.

Lucas squeezed her hand, glancing at her sideways. “You think they’ll let you go for a little while at least, right?” His voice was so hopeful it almost hurt. She didn’t care that much about a carnival. It wasn’t worth it to deal with Billy, to beg him for permission or risk the consequences of not doing so. But it seemed like it was a big deal to her friends, and to Lucas, and _that_ mattered. 

“I’m sure I can talk them into it even if it’s only for a couple hours,” she answered, even though she knew it was going to cost her. It didn’t matter, really. It was always something anyway. If it wasn’t having to do things for or to Billy for a night of freedom with her friends, it was because he had a bad day or because he fought with his dad or because she’d looked at him the wrong way. She might as well get something out of it once in awhile. 

***

“You’re quiet,” Billy commented as he drove them away from the school and toward their house. 

He at least seemed to be in a somewhat decent mood that afternoon. Maybe she could use that to her advantage if she was careful. 

“Long day,” she told him after a moment, staring out the window. 

Wordlessly he held his lit cigarette out toward her and she glanced at him to see if he was serious. When he didn’t pull it away, his eyes trained on the road, Max hesitated and then reached out and plucked it from his fingers, inhaling and immediately choking as he laughed at her. Her eyes watered as the smoke curled in her throat. It was _awful._ Why the hell would anyone want to do that to themselves? She handed it back to him, still coughing. 

“I can’t believe you actually enjoy that,” she mumbled. 

Billy chuckled again. “Soothes my nerves.” He took a long drag and flicked ashes out the driver’s side window. 

She chewed her lower lip, daring a sideways glance at his profile. “Everyone’s talking about the carnival at school.” Maybe not the most subtle way to bring it up, but there it was. 

He nodded, arching an eyebrow but not responding. 

“I’d like to go with my friends.” 

“Yeah?” He didn’t sound pissed or annoyed, just curious. 

“Yeah. Is that okay?” She fiddled with the hem of the black skirt she was wearing. “Just for a couple hours.” 

He hummed, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “You’ve been good this week,” he said after a moment. “Sure. A couple hours. Whole group’s going, right? All the losers and nerds? And Jane?” He smirked. 

The fact that he chose to isolate Jane from the group made her uneasy, but she nodded. “Yeah. They wanna see if I can kick their asses at all the games.” 

Billy smirked and took another drag off his cigarette. “You got money for it?” 

“Enough.” She was starting to feel like she’d stepped into the Twilight Zone. 

“I’ll give you a few bucks to add to it. Home by ten as long as our douchebag parents are fine with it.” He exhaled a ring of smoke, putting his camaro into park when he pulled into the driveway of their house.

“Okay.” She didn’t dare reach for the door handle yet, looking at him warily. “What do I have to do?” 

Billy glanced over at her with raised eyebrows. “Consider this one a freebie.” He winked at her as he turned the engine off and started to climb out of the car. “Don’t fuck it up.” 

Max sat in the passenger seat, stunned as she watched him head up to the house without looking back at her, wondering what the hell had just happened. 

***

Much to Mike’s dismay and Dustin and Lucas’ glee, Max managed to kick their asses at all but one game they play at the carnival Saturday night. Basketball wasn’t her thing. As it turned out, it wasn’t really _any_ of the group’s thing. Lucas managed to win her a stuffed raccoon at darts, and Jane won a stuffed bear for Mike, which had made him blush profusely and cracked all of them up. 

“I wanna ride rides,” Will announced, arching his eyebrows. 

“Are you even tall enough?” Dustin joked. 

It was true enough; while Mike and Lucas had both shot up, and Dustin had always been taller than Will, Will hadn’t hit a growth spurt yet, and was shorter than the rest of them, even her and Jane. 

Max reached out and punched Dustin’s arm before draping her arm around Will’s shoulders. “Rides it is,” she agreed and he grinned at her. 

“Well, well, well.” A couple familiar figures stepped right into their path, and she narrowed her eyes at Troy and James, feeling Will tense on her left even as Lucas gripped onto her right hand a little more tightly. “The losers are all here.” Troy’s gaze focused quickly on her and Lucas’ hands. He chuckled and elbowed James in the arm. 

“Check it out. Midnight and Ginger Snap are holding hands.” 

“Think they’re knocking boots, too?” James asked with a smirk.

“Huh. Maybe.” Troy studied her intently, letting his gaze sweep over her and her jaw tightened. “What I wanna know though...does the carpet match the drapes?” 

“Shut your mouth,” Lucas said in a tone she rarely heard him use, letting go of her hand and balling his hands into fists. 

“Or what? You and your fairy friends gonna step up for an ass kicking?” James sneered. 

“Stop.” Jane’s voice was quiet, but intense and both of the boys’ heads turned to look at her. “Walk away.” Max turned to look at her, too, watching Mike shake his head quickly, reaching out and gripping onto her hand. 

“And if we don’t?” 

“Troy, had an arm broke lately?” Dustin asked with arched eyebrows and for a moment his face went pale and he looked over at Jane once again. 

“Come on,” he said to James, glaring at them now. “But for the record, people in this town don’t like niggers and they definitely don’t like nigger _lovers_.” He shot Max a warning look before the two of them turned and headed away. Rage flooded her veins. She didn’t have to look at Lucas to know how those words affected him.

“Fucking assholes,” Dustin spat. 

Max pulled away from Will, reaching down and picking a dirt clod up off the ground and hurling it toward them, a moment of satisfaction flickering through her as it beaned Troy right in the back of the head. 

“Holy shit,” Mike whispered as they turned around once more, Troy’s eyes full of fury. 

“You fucking _cunt_ ,” he cursed, taking a step toward her. 

Bring it on, she thought darkly. 

Before he had a chance to say or do anything, a familiar uniformed figure stepped between the two boys and the party. 

“Is there a _problem_ here, shitheads?” Steve’s hands were on his hips as he glared at Troy and James. 

“Yeah, that _bitch_ just hit me with a dirt clod!” Troy informed him. 

“Huh.” He glanced over his shoulder at her, arching his eyebrows and she gave him a little shrug before he turned to face the boys again. “I didn’t see anything so it’s really just your word against all of theirs, isn’t it? I think it’s time for the two of you to head home.” Steve motioned them toward the exit. 

“Are you kiddi - “ 

“I can escort you out if you’re worried about getting lost,” Steve offered and beside her Will snorted and covered his mouth to stifle a laugh. 

The corners of her mouth turned up involuntarily. 

“Asshole,” James grumbled before he and Troy turned, heading for the exit. 

When they vanished from sight, Steve turned to face the rest of them. “Really? First big event in Hawkins in months and you guys can’t stay out of trouble?” There was exasperation in his voice. 

“Hey, they started it,” Dustin said defensively. “They’re assholes and they called Lucas and Max - “ He shut up with a sharp elbow from Mike. 

Steve looked between her and Lucas, sighing. “Just try and stay out of trouble, okay?” He focused his gaze on Max. “Nice throw, by the way. You should be playing softball.” Before she could respond, he turned and headed away, disappearing into the crowd. 

She looked over at Lucas, who’d grown stony and silent, refusing to look at any of them. She reached out to take his hand again but he pulled it away, shaking his head and stalking off away from all of them. She bit down hard on her lower lip, watching him go and wrapping her arms around herself. 

***

It took nearly twenty minutes for her to find Lucas again - and when she did, she found him sitting alone at one of the picnic tables near the cotton candy booth. She drew in a breath and moved over to sit down across from him, resting her hands atop the table and staring at him until he finally looked at her. 

“Sorry,” he muttered and she raised her eyebrows a little, genuinely confused as to why he was apologizing. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong. They’re pieces of shit,” she responded quietly. 

“A lot of people are pieces of shit,” he answered. 

He wasn’t wrong. She happened to know a lot of them. The image of Billy’s face flashed through her mind and she took a slow, deep breath. “Do you wanna leave?” 

“No. Because then they win,” Lucas said flatly. 

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Then what do you say we hit the rides?” 

He shrugged. “I guess.” He dropped his gaze and she rose to her feet, moving around the table so she was sitting beside him instead, their legs pressed together. 

“Lucas.” Her voice dropped. “They aren’t worth this. They _aren’t._ Sometimes people are just - bad people. They say and do terrible things, and you can’t do a goddamn thing about it. It’s just life.” Max looked away for a moment, her chest feeling tight. “So all you can do is hold onto the fact that good people exist, too.” She glanced at him again when his hand covered her own and their eyes met.

“I love you,” he murmured and all the air rushed out of her lungs because even though she knew she loved him and she was pretty sure he loved her, they hadn’t actually said the words before and she suddenly felt completely undeserving of hearing them from anyone, let alone someone as _good_ as Lucas. If he only knew. She could practically hear Billy in her head, laughing. 

Wordlessly, Max leaned in and pressed a kiss to his mouth, letting her eyes drift shut as he kissed her back, one of his hands threading through her hair, cupping the back of her head to keep her close. 

***

Lucas hated Troy and James. 

He also hated heights. 

But he wasn’t going to wussy out in front of his friends as they stood in line for the Ferris wheel, and he _definitely_ wasn’t about to back out in front of _Max._ Max, who was legitimately the bravest, most incredible girl he’d ever met. Who threatened her stepbrother with a nail bat and threw dirt clods at racist pieces of shit, and showed up at his house to make breakfast for his family out of the blue, and kicked his ass at every game on the planet. He hadn’t meant to just blurt the words out the way he had regardless of how true they were. 

It had just happened. 

She hadn’t said them back, but she didn’t have to. He got it. Her life was not as simple as his was. Words like love didn’t come easy to her and that broke his heart because out of everyone he knew, she should be right at the top of the list of people who _knew_ she was loved. He knew she loved her mom, but he knew the woman wasn’t around that much and even when she was, Susan Hargrove was too preoccupied with keeping her husband happy to pay much attention to Max. Except when she was forcing her to wear skirts and jewelry, apparently. 

Lucas thought she looked amazing in the new clothes, but he didn’t care if she was wearing a skirt or jeans and a hoodie. She always looked beautiful to him. He knew, though, that _she_ wasn’t happy about it, and it had been weeks. She was forced to wear clothes she didn’t like against her will most days of the week and today was no exception. Today it was a button down white top and a pink skirt that she’d complained about on principle. 

His fingers were laced through hers and his thumb brushed lightly over the back of her hand as they waited and he drew in a nervous breath as the ride attendant ushered them into one of the pods. He didn’t even realize his palms were sweating until Max frowned at him as she settled beside him. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Totally fine,” he said quickly, which only made her eyebrows arch. 

“Lucas,” she said after a moment, right as the ride jerked into motion and he squeezed his eyes shut. 

“I’m fine.” 

“ _Lucas._ ” 

He exhaled slowly, reluctantly opening his eyes again and looking at her, giving her a small, sheepish smile. “I’m not a fan of heights.” 

Max stared at him for a moment, her blue eyes wide. “Why didn’t you say something?” She shook her head.

Lucas made a face. “It’s a stupid thing to be afraid of.” His grip on her hand tightened a little as the ride took them higher, the pod swinging back and forth a little as they loaded more people on. 

“It’s not.” She let go of his hand, shifting closer to him and he held his breath when her hand moved to rest against his chest. “Focus on me.” 

He swallowed heavily, gaze locked on her face as he nodded. He lifted his hand to cover hers, over his heart. “Gladly.” 

A tiny smile tugged at her mouth and he couldn’t help but smile back even as she leaned in, kissing him softly on the lips. His eyes drifted shut instinctively as he returned the kiss. He started when she tugged his hand toward her, resting it on her thigh. His heart began to beat quicker in his chest, and it had nothing to do with the fact that they were moving higher up into the sky. 

Lucas’ fingers brushed against her warm, soft skin, his breathing hitching as she broke the kiss, resting her hand over his and biting down on her lower lip, making him groan. Her cheeks were flushed, lips slightly swollen, and he couldn’t help but wish it was his teeth biting her lip like that. His eyes grew a little wider as she guided his hand farther up her thigh, beneath her skirt, and he realized she suddenly looked as nervous as he felt, even if it was clearly for a different reason. 

“Wait,” he whispered, turning his hand to catch hers and linking their fingers together. “I don’t want this to be because you’re trying to distract me from the fact that we’re like 300 feet in the air.” He squeezed her hand gently. 

Max looked down at their hands and then back up at him, some emotion he couldn’t identify flickering over her face and then she was scooting closer, resting her head on his shoulder. He let go of her hand and wound his arm around her instead, resting his head against hers. It barely registered that they were at the very top of the ride now. 

It felt like he was on top of the world.

***

The rest of the weekend flew by, aside from the nightmares she had all night Saturday. She’d woken up in a cold sweat, barely making it to the toilet across the hall before throwing up as she remembered the dream: Billy fucking her in the hallway at school, hand around her throat and pressing her up against her locker as Lucas and her friends watched with disgust. 

She hadn’t gone back to sleep. 

Even though her mom and Neil were barely home, Billy left her alone and she did more homework on Sunday than she’d done in weeks. She took a break to ride her board for awhile, and then went back to it, her mind turning Lucas’ words over and over in her head. 

_”I love you.”_

_“I don’t want this to be because you’re trying to distract me from the fact that we’re like 300 feet in the air.”_

She was pretty sure there weren’t too many guys their age that would’ve let _that_ stop them, but he had. Lucas was something special. 

And with a sinking feeling in her chest, she realized that he could do so much better. He _deserved_ so much better. She certainly didn’t have anything to offer him. They’d been dating for over a year now and her mom hadn’t even asked to meet him. Her stepdad would definitely have a meltdown of some sort. 

The very thought of bringing Lucas to the house for a family dinner made nausea sweep over her. It couldn’t happen, even if her mom ever _did_ express interest in meeting him. Neil would hit the roof and Billy?

Billy would probably _actually_ kill him. 

Just like that, Max tasted bile in her throat and she dashed across the hall, throwing up the meager bits of breakfast she’d eaten hours before. 

Lucas would be so much better off without her. He’d never agree with that, but she knew it was true. Her life was too fucked up to ever hope for any kind of normalcy, with Lucas, or even in general. _She_ was too fucked up. 

Who got off when they were being _tortured_ by their own stepbrother? 

Max threw up again, hot tears stinging her eyes as panic clawed at her chest, stomach rolling as she flushed the toilet, leaning against the wall. 

_”Your ass is mine, little sister.”_

***

“My dad moved out.” 

Max looked up from where she was sitting in a corner of the library with the others, studying for the day’s history test when Mike made his announcement. He didn’t look at any of them, but Jane was pressed close to his side, eyes sad. 

“Dude, I’m sorry.” For once, Dustin sounded completely and whole-heartedly sincere. 

“I’m not. He’s a douchebag,” Mike responded, shrugging like he didn’t care. 

She felt Lucas’ eyes on her and she glanced at him sideways, knowing what he was thinking. She was the only one of them who’d gone through this already. “At least they won’t be fighting all the time anymore,” she said quietly. “That’ll be the one good part.” 

Mike looked over at her, stricken for a moment, but the expression vanished as quickly as it appeared. “Yeah. I don’t care. I’m glad he’s gone. It’s not like he’s ever had much to do with me anyway. Or with Nancy. Or Holly. Screw him. It’ll be better now.” 

If only it was that simple, she thought even as she nodded. 

Life was never that simple.

***

Billy had been in a good mood for the last few days in a way he hadn’t been in awhile. Between Max’s submission to him and the fact that Karen Wheeler had ordered her husband out of the house, he was practically on cloud fucking nine. 

He sailed through most of Monday without even feeling pissed off. 

That was until he rounded the corner and saw Lucas lean in and press a kiss to Max’s mouth before the little nigger headed down the hallway. It was the look on Max’s _face_ that infuriated him: the tiny smile, the blush, the way she watched the kid head away. 

She _never_ looked at him like that. 

He moved before he realized what he was doing, grabbing her none-too-gently by the arm - hard enough to leave a mark later, and yanking her down the hall to the empty science lab. Her eyes were wide with shock and he couldn’t blame her. He never messed with her at school. 

“Billy, what - “ 

He shut the door to the lab, pushing her toward the nearest table and stalking over to her. “Not a fucking word,” he growled, shoving her down so that she was bent over the table. He unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, dropping them down around his ankles as rage spiralled through him. 

She was going to taunt him like that in public? At school of all places? Really? 

“You really think you were going to get by with that?” he whispered as he reached up beneath her skirt, yanking her underwear aside and guiding himself to her entrance. 

“Wait - “ 

Billy ignored her plea, thrusting inside her with one hard stroke as she whimpered. He pressed one hand to the back of her head, making sure it stayed down on the table as he moved within her. “Fucking stupid move, Max,” he whispered, slamming his hips against hers. “Really fucking stupid.” 

He glared down at her as he moved quickly, watching a couple tears trickle down her face. “I give you what you want and you just walk all over me every goddamn chance you get. I get it now. Can’t give you any space. Now you’re gonna finish today with my cum dripping out of your cunt.” He reached between her legs, pinching her inner thigh. A soft, pained noise escape her as she tightened around him involuntarily. He forced himself deeper inside of her, not noticing at first when the door opened. 

Movement caught his eye, though, and he turned his head to the door where Tommy stood frozen, staring at him with a shocked expression. Billy said nothing, keeping Max’s head pressed hard to the table as he surged into her twice more and came, gritting his teeth together as she shook beneath him. 

Tommy picked up a book off the desk closest to the door, arching his eyebrows at Billy, gaze flickering down to Max and then turning and heading out the door without a sound. 

Fuck.

**Author's Note:**

> This wound up getting even plottier than I initially anticipated but here we are. Thanks to everyone who's left comments and kudos. They mean the world to writers!


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